To the hospital with my Dad...

I was recently in the hospital for some tests. I was only supposed to be there for the day but my blood pressure dropped in the middle of one of my tests real low so they had to admit me. I ended up staying for two days. It sure was aggravating. My father had come along with me for the ride because I knew I wouldn't be able to drive. My father hasn't changed in the 28 years i've know him or the 18 years that we've been going to the hospital to have these routine checkups. He loves to tell everyone and anyone who wants to hear the story of what happened to me. He wants everyone to know that we're "pros" to this hospital thing and that we somehow should be treated differently, as if we should be treated better.

The thing that my father doesn't understand is that nobody really cares. It's probably tough for him to swallow that, but its true. Its important to him and our family because we live it everyday and it is something we just are used to. But these people who work in the hospital... they don't have a personal stake in our visit. If we didn't come in today to have these tests done, somebody else would be on the roster. I'm just a name on a list. And these nurses that meet me in the morning are just part of my morning and they probably won't see me for the rest of the year. They don't know the struggles that i'll have for the rest of they day. They themselves have their own struggles for the rest of their day. They are trying to just do what they have to do for their job or to get to lunch or to be done for the day. For me... its kinda the same. I'm trying to get the test all done with just so I can go home quickly, but I have to live with the results of the test or/and the problems throughout day that happen to me.

Usually i'm in my bed laying down, tired and groggy. My father talks and talks and talks. He loves to talk. Partly he talks to comfort himself that everything will be okay, and partly he talks to kill the quiet in the room. My heart monitor in the room will start beeping and he will come up with some solution onto why its beeping.... he'll say "the leads are off" or "the monitor is sensitive"... finally he'll ask me why its beeping... and I just ignore him. I know exactly why its beeping... Its beeping because my pressure is too low. When the systolic or the top number drops below 100 the alarm goes off. The problem is that nobody seems to care. Nurses hear it alarming and passerbys hear it alarming, but nobody writes it down and nobody does anything to change it.... so it just beeps... and my father sits and talk about it.... and i'm forced to listen.

Hospital stays are never fun. People go to the hospital because they are sick. Most people when they are sick need rest. The doctors and nurses even tell you to get rest. The problem is, hospitals function so that nobody ever goes to sleep. The nurses on shift have to stay awake the whole time because they are supposed to be taking care of you. The nurse's aids do the same. The intern doctor staying for the night is probably running around somewhere trying to save somebody's life when really he wishes he could just fall asleep for 15 minutes. For sure, I know that I, the patient can't sleep. The door is always wide open so you can hear the clamor outside in the hall and bustle of the hospital floor. Even if the door was closed, most of the hospital rooms i've been in, i've had a roommate.... and its almost guaranteed that every roommate watches tv really loud. And even if he wasn't watching tv, he'd be snoring or talking to doctors or on the phone yelling, or his oxygen machine is loud. And even still yet, If i didn't have a roommate, the nurses come in to make sure i'm okay once an hour and the nurse's aides wake me up to check my vitals every half hour to an hour.

Then morning comes... and the med students and interns want to wake you up at 5:30 am to see how you slept and listen to your heart and lungs. They don't even know what they are listening to, they just do it, because it is what they are supposed to do. And God forbid all the students and doctors come and talk to you all at the same time... they come in right after the other, just so they can get an "exlusive" report on how you are today and so they personally can listen to your heart and lungs and touch your feet for edema. Then the lady comes to draw labs... and of course she can't find a good vein so she pokes and prods and messes up your arm just to call for backup and somebody else does the same thing. Then breakfast comes, then they want you to go down for some tests somewhere, and then other doctors come in...

There is no rest in a hospital. That's why people end up staying longer than they have to. Its stressfull and dirty and frustrating.

I have been dealing with all of this for 18 years of my life. And when my father comes the few times that he does with me on these hospital trips and stays, I lay in my bed and chuckle deep down inside. He thinks he's a "pro" because of the experiences he's had with me. That must mean i'm better than a "pro", i must be a "master" or something. I've learned long ago to talk to only the people i need to at the hospital, because i've come to understand the hierarchy and the process. My dad is going about it all the wrong way.... but i'm not gonna interupt him. He can talk all he wants. I'll just lay there, ask for a pain killer, and go to sleep.